He goes before

There were two weeks where I really did not know if I could do this anymore. Every single day was a struggle. Every. Single. Day. But the last few days have been a world better. I can't even begin to explain. And I was able to go to church today. I went to Woodmen Valley Chapel in Colorado Springs, and the message was amazing. I would strongly suggest listening to it when it comes out: March 8th, Part 7 of Matt Heard's podcasts: http://www.woodmenvalley.org/index.cfm/PageID/218/cfid/9989947/cftoken/87036977/index.html

God has brought me here for SO many reasons. I know of only a couple, because I am not able to see the entire picture as I am here on this earth, but my only responsibility is this: to seek God with all of my heart. All of my heart, and I am not able to do that if my heart is divided. So, I am in the process of calling out some of the things that are dividing my heart. I don't want my heart to be divided.

I am reading "As Silver Refined" by Kay Arthur right now, and I can't even tell how the numerous times that I've picked up the book and it's been something that I have desperately needed to hear at that particular moment. This is a poem by an unknown author that she included in her book that I read the other day with tears streaming down my face:
Child of My love, fear not the unknown morrow.
Dread not the new demand life makes of thee;
Thine ignorance doth hold no cause for sorrow,
For what thou knowest not is known to Me.
Thou canst not see today the hidden meaning
Of My command, but thou the light shall gain.
Walk on in faith, upon My promise leaning,
And as thou goest, all shall be made plain.
One step thou seest: Then go forward boldly;
One step is far enough for faith to see.
Take that, and they next duty shall be told thee,
For step by step they God is leading thee.
Stand not in fear, thine adversaries counting;
Dare ever peril, save to disobey.
Thou shalt march on, each obstacle surmounting,
For I, the Strong, shall open up the way.
Therefore go gladly to the task assigned thee,
Having My promise; needing nothing more
Than just to know where'er the future find thee,
In all thy journeying ---I GO BEFORE.

I write this:
Strip away my flesh
take all my unrighteousness
make me more like You
Strip away this flesh
my Silversmith.

I had a flat tire after church, which I was not too thrilled about, let me just tell you! I changed it in a skirt and heels... so, I went to get it fixed, and they tell me that all my tires are in really bad shape, and they tell me the measurements and that I really should replace them all, and since I just got paid, I say ok, let's just get it over with. While I'm still talking with the guy, another guy brings out another one of my tires and says "By the way ma'am, you made a great choice. Look." And in the middle of the tread the tire is about to split in half. And they tell me that I definitely would not have liked the outcome of that. I will say this: I live about 9 miles down a dirt road right now and half of it is not even wide enough to pass another car on, and most of it is one side is the mountain going up and the other side is a terrible drop off. A flat tire saved me from the possibility of winding up off the side of the mountain...without cell service no less. And that is why I am genuinely saying right now: "Hallelujah, thank You Jesus, for a flat tire!"

Home

Home:
–noun
1.
a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2.
the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
3.
an institution for the homeless, sick, etc.: a nursing home.
4.
the dwelling place or retreat of an animal.
5.
the place or region where something is native or most common.
6.
any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.
7.
a person's native place or own country.
8.
(in games) the destination or goal.
9.
a principal base of operations or activities

1 Peter 1:1 "...to God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout..."
we are pilgrims....... so where is my home? Currently I would have to say Colorado, but yet it doesn't feel like home to me, but it does not have to feel like it. God is sovereign, and He has a purpose for my being here right now, and whether or not I know what that reason is is beside the point.