a call to surrender

There's so much to say, yet I don't even know where to begin. I can barely believe that I drove 920 miles Monday and Tuesday and am now in Colorado where I will be for the next 10 months or so. It's so beautiful. Last night I unpacked my suitcases and, even though my room is still a little scattered, it's coming together nicely and will be a nice living arrangement for me. It's a 3 bedroom doublewide that I will be sharing with three other girls, but will have my own room for the spring and fall. I have gotten really good sleep the last few nights and am finally starting to feel like I'm at the very end of this cold that I've had for over a week now. Something that I'm learning is that God's timing is perfect, and that He is sovereign, and in complete control. I don't know why in my humanity I have such a hard time trusting my Savior, who came to conquer death for me. Why is it such a difficult thing to just surrender fully to Him? Especially if He is in control, and when I am not surrendering, I am not fully believing that He is who He said He is. He is calling me to surrender all to Him, and let Him be who He said He is, and who He came to be for me: my Savior.
I would love for my song everyday to be: All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him in His presence daily live. I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all. All to Jesus I surrender, humbly at His feet I bow. Worldly pleasures all forsaken, take me Jesus, take me now. I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
But really, do I surrender ALL? And do I "freely" give all?

You are my Defender

Some words are just words to fill the silence, but these words I say to You - what can I say to express the depth of my pain? Bitterness has settled in, and my flesh is fighting You. Help me let go and give You control. You are my Defender and bigger than my past, greater than my future, stronger than my fears. I will hold on to You, Your hand is what sustains me . You are so sovereign over everything. What can I say? I have failed You over and over. You have never, not once failed me, yet why does my flesh still doubt? for You are my Defender and bigger than my past, greater than my future, stronger than my fears. I will hold on to You. Your hand is what sustains me. Your love is so amazing. I can't even know the depths here on this earth. Hold me in Your hands - I don't want to be anywhere else! You are my Defender and bigger than my past, greater than my future, stronger than my fears. I will hold on to You. Your hand is what sustains me.

what an amazing God i serve

i love how God lets us go through things, and puts people in our lives who have already been through the same type of experiences to help us through it, and then also, others go through the same things, and He puts us in their path.
honestly i'm just in awe of my Saviour right now... practically speechless. He is my Defender, my Redeemer, my Sustainer, my Glory.
"For Thou oh Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the lifter of my head." Psalm 3:3
Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!

a new year....a new blog

i am a little irritated that the blog that i kept while i was in Paraguay was hacked into and was forever dispersed into cyber-land... but that is alright. it's a new year, a new beginning, and a new blog.
i may not be able to see the step in front of me, but i'm holding onto the One who can.